After seeing one too many commercials for the new dodge nitro where they dont show you at all how much power the actual truck has, and only shows you that if you have a dodge nitro, it will cover all your past insecurities, by making you the biggest hard *** on the block. The most recent one i saw was about 15 minutes ago, where a fit black man drives up to somewhere, and suddenly the girl with the huge buff threatening black man, jumps into the truck simply because she thinks he is such a hardass for having a nitro. And what does the huge black guy do about this poon theft? NOTHING! He tooknows, that nitro owners are simply the biggest hard asses ever to exist.

The next commercial i saw came 2 minutes later and the same fit black guy drives up to a karate exibition where a man breaks a stack of cement bricks with his face or something, but of course, the fit black man is enough of a hardass to have a sledge hammer in his back pocket. He then proceeds to completely destroy any trace of the bricks....then drives away...

This sparked my curiousity as to wtf is so god damn great about this nitro truck, so i actually followed the TV's instructions and went to dodge.com/nitro

What i found was...well...Nothing. My first disappointment was finding out it has a v6. Wtf is that? I would at least expect a small v8 with some kind of supercharger or a TT setup, or maybe even a super powerful diesel turbo v8. But nope. Just a winky little 210 horsepower in the truck made specifically for the people who dont feel they are enough of a hardass, so they need to go out and purchase the most media exploited hardass machine they could find, so that all the huge black men will bow down, and all womenwant tohave sex with you.

And it looks pretty stupid too.

 

Ummm, ya that thing looks like a gay *** Liberty, or like about 99% of any other SUV, GHEY.

 

LMAO! whoa dude its Christmas calm down! I agree they are pretty gay though....

 

the only SUV i like is the SRT-8 jeep, but the nitro can suck it..

 

And the gambella 750 or LM002 or H1 Alpha, but that does not really count because they DONT get stuck unless your drving through an ocean of quick sand