One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide
which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

 

Have you ever gotten any jp? LOL

 

holy ****. your brave man. she must be younger than you. im sure we all have crazy stories. i dont think theres enough time. that is so funny i thought you were going to get her all that stuff. man funny story

 

ROFL!! oh wow.... hahaha, i bet the expression on her face was priceless.... hhahaha wow

 

im pretty sure that that was just a joke that he read or hear somewhere... i'm almost positive that that didnt actually happen to him, very funny though

 

ditto^^^

 

JP you aint got the dolla or the ***** : )

 

LOL... my wife got a good laugh out of that too.. Priceless!

even thought I doubt most people have the ***** to pull that one off.

 

yeah i've seen this before, but still funny, and no lie i could see myself doing that, cuz yeah, i'm that stupid,lol

 

**** you sebba you ***** jk man