Cellphone Jokes
#21
RE: Cellphone Jokes
roses are red, pickles are green
i love your legs and whats between
i like your style i like your class
but most of all i like your ***
im a cool girl, in a cool town
it takes a real mother ****er to put me down
kissing is a sport
****ing is a game
guys get all the pleasure
girls get all the pain
the guy says i love you
you belive its true
9 months later,
he says the hell with you
the baby is a bastard
the mother is a *****
all this wouldnt have happened
if the rubber wouldnt have torn
sex is when a guys comunication
enters a girls information
to increase the population
for a younger generation
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstaration
roses are red
violets are corney,
when i think of you
ohh baby i get horney,
eat me,
beat me,
bite me,
blow me,
suck me,
**** me,
very slowly,
if you kiss me
dont me sassy,
use your tounge
and make it nasty!!!!
i love your legs and whats between
i like your style i like your class
but most of all i like your ***
im a cool girl, in a cool town
it takes a real mother ****er to put me down
kissing is a sport
****ing is a game
guys get all the pleasure
girls get all the pain
the guy says i love you
you belive its true
9 months later,
he says the hell with you
the baby is a bastard
the mother is a *****
all this wouldnt have happened
if the rubber wouldnt have torn
sex is when a guys comunication
enters a girls information
to increase the population
for a younger generation
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstaration
roses are red
violets are corney,
when i think of you
ohh baby i get horney,
eat me,
beat me,
bite me,
blow me,
suck me,
**** me,
very slowly,
if you kiss me
dont me sassy,
use your tounge
and make it nasty!!!!
#22
RE: Cellphone Jokes
How 2 impress a girl: Kiss her, Love her, Protect her, Listen to her, & support her.
How 2 impress a guy: arrive naked with beer!
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Cinderella was fired from Disney today, she was found bouncing on pinnochio's face screaming "LIE MOTHERF'ER LIE!!"
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I want to go down on you and make you feel really good, then I want to slowy climb back up and F*** YOU HARD!
What am I?
How 2 impress a guy: arrive naked with beer!
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Cinderella was fired from Disney today, she was found bouncing on pinnochio's face screaming "LIE MOTHERF'ER LIE!!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I want to go down on you and make you feel really good, then I want to slowy climb back up and F*** YOU HARD!
What am I?
#23
RE: Cellphone Jokes
Official Canadian Beer Study
Beer Study,
Scientist for Health Canada suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beef, men should take a look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each within a one hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive and failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize.
No Further testing is planned
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Bad day
The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this:
You are a Siamese Twin
Your brother, attached at your shoulder, is gay
You are not.
He has a date coming over tonight
You only have one poop shoot
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair while her dad gets his hair cut eating a snack cake. The barber says to her "Sweetheart you're going to get hair on your Twinkie" She says "Yes, I know, Im going to get ***** too"
Beer Study,
Scientist for Health Canada suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beef, men should take a look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each within a one hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive and failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize.
No Further testing is planned
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bad day
The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this:
You are a Siamese Twin
Your brother, attached at your shoulder, is gay
You are not.
He has a date coming over tonight
You only have one poop shoot
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair while her dad gets his hair cut eating a snack cake. The barber says to her "Sweetheart you're going to get hair on your Twinkie" She says "Yes, I know, Im going to get ***** too"
#24
RE: Cellphone Jokes
Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, 'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?'
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth.
'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.
Little Tony just said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds... and Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you.
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth.
'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.
Little Tony just said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds... and Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you.
#25
RE: Cellphone Jokes
A blond was speeding down the road when she was pulled over by a police woman who was also a blond and asked the driver for her drivers license. The driver looked through her purse for a minuet or so and got more and more agitated.
"What dose it look like?" she asked, "It's kinda square and has your picture on it" said the police woman.
The driver found a small square mirror, looked into it and handed it to the officer, the officer looked into it, handed it back and said...
"OK, you can go, I didn't know you were a cop."
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What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a wife?
A prostitute says, "Done yet?"
A nympho says, "Done already?"
And a wife says, "Beige! I think I'll paint the ceiling beige!"
"What dose it look like?" she asked, "It's kinda square and has your picture on it" said the police woman.
The driver found a small square mirror, looked into it and handed it to the officer, the officer looked into it, handed it back and said...
"OK, you can go, I didn't know you were a cop."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a wife?
A prostitute says, "Done yet?"
A nympho says, "Done already?"
And a wife says, "Beige! I think I'll paint the ceiling beige!"
#26
RE: Cellphone Jokes
A guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.
Guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?"'
Customer says, "Female."
Counter guy asks, "Black or white?"
Customer says, "White."
Counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?"
Customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"
Counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up."
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This midget goes to the doctor and tells him 'Doc my nuts are just killin' me.' The doc takes a look,pulls out a scapel and says 'Here bite this stick in case I slip' With intense concentration. he pulls the midgets sack one way then the other while cutting with the scapel,making the midget extemely nervous. He says 'There all done. How's that feel?' The midget says 'Say that's a lot better. Didn't even feel you cutting nothing. What was it?'
'I trimmed 2' off the tops of your cowboy boots'
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Guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?"'
Customer says, "Female."
Counter guy asks, "Black or white?"
Customer says, "White."
Counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?"
Customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"
Counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This midget goes to the doctor and tells him 'Doc my nuts are just killin' me.' The doc takes a look,pulls out a scapel and says 'Here bite this stick in case I slip' With intense concentration. he pulls the midgets sack one way then the other while cutting with the scapel,making the midget extemely nervous. He says 'There all done. How's that feel?' The midget says 'Say that's a lot better. Didn't even feel you cutting nothing. What was it?'
'I trimmed 2' off the tops of your cowboy boots'
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#27
RE: Cellphone Jokes
A couple more from the cell
A husband tattooed "I Love U' on his d*** & his wife said "there u go again putting words in my mouth!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------WARNNING!!!! Sucking d*** is bad 4ur health it's 1% urine 3% hair 5% c** & 91% of other b****s p****!!!
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If Barack Obama wins the presidential race he's goign 2 b3 the 1st black man 2 beat a white women n public and not go 2 jail
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P**** is like A peach: its fat,fuzzy, full of juice, & if u go in deep enough you'll get a nut.pass it on
Sorry for the the rival of the old thread got a lil behind on my thread.
A husband tattooed "I Love U' on his d*** & his wife said "there u go again putting words in my mouth!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------WARNNING!!!! Sucking d*** is bad 4ur health it's 1% urine 3% hair 5% c** & 91% of other b****s p****!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Barack Obama wins the presidential race he's goign 2 b3 the 1st black man 2 beat a white women n public and not go 2 jail
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P**** is like A peach: its fat,fuzzy, full of juice, & if u go in deep enough you'll get a nut.pass it on
Sorry for the the rival of the old thread got a lil behind on my thread.
#29
RE: Cellphone Jokes
ORIGINAL: jpmontero98
ONE I GOT TODAY
"HEY I GOT EXTRA TICKETS IF YOU WANT TO GO TO A SHOW, THE EVIL KNIEVEL IS GONNA TRY TO JUMP 500 N****** WITH A BULLDOZER"
ONE I GOT TODAY
"HEY I GOT EXTRA TICKETS IF YOU WANT TO GO TO A SHOW, THE EVIL KNIEVEL IS GONNA TRY TO JUMP 500 N****** WITH A BULLDOZER"
Just got hit with this one the other day.
Teacher asked Tim, "why did u bring your cat 2 school today?" Tim says " I heard daddy tell mommy, I'm gonna eat that P()$$^ whun the kids leave."
#30
Now these days social media trend on high and everyone want to connect to their favorite persons in family, friends and others. Jokes is the way to share fun and joy with them. Here are some awesome funny jokes in gujarati. Also find them.
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