One liners


A bicycle can't stand-alone because it is two-tired.
What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory, which was never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
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Are you coming? No but I am breathing heavy.